Unmutual

It’s not what the heart pumps
Rather it’s what the heart feels

Our mom is the same
But our feelings are not

You abandoned me for 13 years
Then you convinced me that you cared

What a fool I was
To believe you loved me

You didn’t want to be a part of my life
You didn’t want to be my sister

So why did you call in the first place?

Are you through with me
Or am I through with you

Are we through for now
Or through for good

Let’s give it another 13 years
And see if our feelings our mutual

Maybe by then you’ll see what I see
That sisters are born from the heart

Blood relation doesn’t matter
When you deny your own family

For my real sister does not share my blood
But my sisters been there

Through thick and through thin
When you didn’t even know
I was hurting within

Fading

I thought you said forever

I thought we promised together

But now I’m left with this empty feeling
And no one to blame but myself

I can’t explain where the pain is coming from

All I know is that I’ve been here before
And it hurts more than words can say

Please just let me fade away

I don’t want to cause you this pain
In which I’ve caused upon myself

I just want to crawl into a safe little corner
Hiding from all the truth

They say we’re our own worst enemies
But what happens when your enemy’s got you in defeat?

My blood shot eyes may lie
But the tear stained cheeks will not

So please just stop the agony
Whatever the solution may be

I need some time to heal these wounds
Hides these scars
And mend these cracks

I need a breathe of fresh air
A sound of reassurance
A sign of hope no longer lost

I need you to fall back into my life
And remain in my life as promised

But I guess our promises faded
And forever has wasted away

Everything means nothing
And our beginning was our end

Honest Love, Sincere Smile

Her head in my lap
My pants soaked in her tears
A fragile heart
Shattered in loves worst fear

He strung her heart
Around his neck
And filled her with lies
Every night in their bed

Now he struggles to find
New ways to crawl back
For she’s found her another
Who’s mended the cracks

She wears a new smile
Upon her blissful face

More genuine than I ever imagined
On a soul who once thought
She was contemptible beyond reasoning
But now look what she’s got

A man who’s worthwhile
And makes her feel beautiful
Who shows her true love
And the aestheticism within

Fictitious Solace

My aching body screams in anguish
Searching for the solace that can never be found

Alone in my room I hide away
I’m hiding from humanity

I’m hiding from lies and empty promises
From my longing and deceitfulness
But most of all…I’m hiding from the truth

Vile tears stain my face
The mask is peeled away

Am I really alone now?

I can’t think or even breathe
I just want this to end

No

I just need this to end

I’ve lost the person I cared most about
And now I’m loosing myself

My wound is still raw and though it may heal
The scar will never fade

Because every time the wound does heal
It’s torn back open to bleed again

Still I cross my heart and listen to it beat
In hoping you’ll do the same

I cry out your name but no one hears
And I lay drenched in this heartless abandonment

Christmas Wish

When I shut the world out
And isolate myself
It’s you I’m wishing
Could be by my side

At night when I cradle myself in the corner of my bed
And cry silently without shedding any tears
It’s you I’m wishing
Could hold me tight and make everything seem ok

Because when I’m with you
The anger and the pain;
It all disappears

You’re the only one who sees
What I really feel inside
Though the one’s who should know better
Can’t see past the fake sparkle in my eyes

So I’m taking down my stocking
‘Cause you won’t fit in it
This wish is all I need in life
To bring me happiness

I’ll tell Santa to skip my house
He can take me off his list
The only thing I want for Christmas
Is this one love filled wish

Life's Whirlpool

No matter how deep the water rises
You never let me give

When I stop treading
You start wading
Just to keep me afloat

This life taking whirlpool
You should have avoided
But as selfish as it maybe
I won’t let you leave me

Because though I say I’m ready
And I want to die
Really I’m scared to go under

When my eyes begin to fade
And I start to loose my grip
Slowly but eventually
You know that I will slip

So promise me when you see the signs
Not to shed a tear
But drop my hand
And let me go
Silently alone

Maybe you will find it hard
Still I ask with best intentions
That you do not worry
Try your best
Take care of yourself and my family

If forgetfulness comes to visit you
Never forget to remember this

Always know I love you
Not as a best friend itself but a sister
You’re never alone
In good or bad
By your side I’ll always stand

Though you may not see me
I’ve got a tight grip on your hand
Strong enough to keep our bond
Even when we’re apart

When the tides get bigger
Take a deep and patient breath
I’ll be there as you were for me
To gently bring you out

Forever

You promised me forever

And let obstacles keep you back

My emotions fought a bitter war

Still I waited evermore

You never came around

Yet my heart forgives you still

I’ll continue loving you

I’ll fight this battle through

Where did our forever go?

Can we get it back?

For it never seemed to make its mark

We never found its start

Tell me, where did our forever go?

Why am I all alone?

You promised it wouldn’t be this way

Now we’re watching us decay

Can forever come in just a day?

Then leave in just a year?

Was forever just your own cliché?

Or did it come and run away?

Aspired Love

Paint me love
Upon an ocean shore
Detail in the moment where I can pretend this is true

Draw me love
In a palace of gold
With a knight in shining armor guarding my door

Sketch me love
Falling from the stars
Make it rain like a monsoon in the early month of May

Yet etch me love
To mend my wounded heart
For my reality was sullen but alas my heart can dream

There is a God - Leann Wommack

"Try and put your arms around
the 100 year old tree
Climb up on a horse
and let it run full speed
Take a look down at the world from 30,000 feet
on your next flight

Watch a flock of birds
against the morning sun
Close your eyes and listen
to the river run
Catch a firefly in your hand
or a raindrop on your tongue
That's right

Chorus:
There is a God
There is a God
There is a God
How much proof do you need?

Plant a seed and see
what comes out of the ground
Find the heartbeat on your baby's ultrasound
In a few years hear it laughing,
and don't it sound like a song?

Stop and think about
what you don't understand
Things like life and love
and how the world began
Hear the doctor say he can't explain it,
but the cancer is gone

Chorus:
There is a God
There is a God
There is a God
How much proof do you need?

Bridge:
Science says it's all just circumstance
Like this whole worlds just an accident
But if you want to shoot that theory down,
Look around

Just look around

There is a God
There is a God
There is a God,
How much proof do you need?

Oh there is a God
There is a God
There is a God
How much proof do you need?"

- This is just a beautiful song. I believe this song is so true in every aspect. Maybe your faith is stronger than mine but for me, I know, there are many times where I doubt God and wonder where he was when I needed him. This song shows that he is always there we just close our eyes to him in the every day world. I don't believe there is a wrong religion but I do believe that some religions falsely interpret the bible and it's meanings. Also, I don't believe everything the bible says is true. However, I do believe There Is A God!

Here is a link to listen to this song on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XkwJJW0lB4