My Anything Blog - Storm Inside Us

The rain falls. It started gently but now it’s crashing on our roof top like ten thousands rocks dropping from the sky. The wind is blowing, wrapping me in its bitter embrace as I sit on the roof of this two story building. My tears mix with the rain. I close my eyes and let the next tear roll. I can hear the thunder boom relentlessly in my ear. I open my eyes to the luminous lightning streaking the sky, watching patiently as the dark clouds devour the moon. The frigid air tranquilizes me and I surrender to my own thoughts connecting this climate to our own feelings. This is the connection:

Like a small child scared of the weathers tirade, we run to our safe place. Mama can’t kiss away the fear this time. Pain rages inside us like thunder. Tears streak our face like lightning across the midnight sky. Similar to the wind, we wrap ourselves in the bitter embrace of life, just pondering what’s next. Someone offers a helping hand but we ignore it. In the same manner in which the dark clouds devoured the moon, we shield our emotions from them. The world goes still. We are tranquilized by the atmosphere around us. The questioning…so many questions. The why ‘s and the how’s, you know, the questions that can never really be answered. Everything we feel has built up under the surface. Still, we reach a point where we cannot contain this anymore. It swirls akin to a tornado, destroying us from the inside out. It obliterates us because we let it. We can find shelter from our own storms, but we chose not to. Counselors, friends, family….these are our trees. They shade us when the sun is too hot for us to bear. Still we run away. We run into the storm, fearless, headstrong, and uncaring of what will happen. Why? Why do we make this choice when it tears us down? We hope it will restore us. We trust that it will construct a stronger, better us. But…What if it doesn’t? What if it’s too late? What if all our trees have somehow strayed? We don’t know how long this storm will last. We don’t know how long our trees of support will stand. Yet we linger inside of our storms for the longest time, anticipating the grand finale. Are there going to be fireworks at the end of our endeavor? Probably not. We know there are other storms rolling in. What we don’t know is the extent of brutality the next storm will bring. However, we know whatever it is there is no avoiding it. Maybe that’s why we dive head first into all that we must endure. But every storm must come to a standstill sooner or later right? And every person has a similar storm they have or will abide. So why do we do it alone? We don’t have to. We shouldn’t. As for myself, I’m not going to any longer. I’ve found my rock, my shelter, my tree of support. I have a firm grasp on it too. She’s not strayed nor has she tried, and I know together we can withstand any storm.